Friday, December 26, 2008

Back to UiTM

I just had my last dinner with my family. Tomorrow, I will start a new journey back at UiTM. Well, not really since i'm going back to my "kampung" first then the next day would only be my first day in UiTM for my third semester.

Oh well, more money are coming out. I'm still in a dilemma either I just want to ask my mom for the camera or should I just drop the subject and took it next semester. Well, for now I drop Psychology since I have to take Human Communication this semester. Both are reading subjects where I am kind of like weak in any reading subjects. Should I or should I not? This Nikon D60 camera that I need is for my INTRODUCTION TO PHOTO COMMUNICATION subject and maybe also for my GRAPHIC DESIGN AND COMMUNICATION. I know I would love this subjects a lot. Huhuhuhu.. HELP ME!! I WANT THAT CAMERA FOR MY STUDIES!!

Okey like fine. Whatever.. I just hope this wireless system in UiTM would work and i mean FAST! Well, we'll see bout that if i can update this blog everyday starts SUNDAY. HAHAHAHA!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Sejuknya perut, Lapangnya hati.

Saya baru sahaja selesai menonton ulangan Sehati Berdansa Minggu ke-9 Musim yang kedua. Apa yang mampu saya katakan, walaupun pasangan Khai dan Rosma AF1 tidak mampu melangkah ke final tetapi jika saya adalah mereka, saya akan merasa bangga kerana melangkah keluar dengan catatan markah tertinggi iaitu 99markah. Namun, bukan itu yang itu yang ingin saya perkatakan di sini. Saya ingin menulis mengenai kehadiran orang ke-3.

Ah, indah sungguh perasaan apabila wujud orang ketiga dalam sesuatu perhubungan rumah tangga itu. Alangkah indahnya apabila kita yang melangkah ke alam perkahwinan dan kita diberitahu bahawa kita sedang berbadan dua. Tidak dapat di bayangkan perasaan ini andai suatu hari nanti saya bakal menimang cahaya mata.

Comelnya dia, Cantiknya dia, Handsome-nya dia; ciptaan-Nya sungguh istimewa. Saya cuba membayangkan perasaan apabila disahkan menggandung. Susah! Apa yang pasti, andai saya diberi peluang untuk menjadi seorang ibu, saya tidak akan mempersiakan dia. Saya tidak akan membiarkan mereka hidup dalam seribu satu kepayahan. Kehadiran dia wujud dari dua hati yang bersatu. Kehadiran dia bakal menjadi menyeri kepada hidup ini. Kehadiran dia juga bakal menjadi pengubat duka di kala kepiluan.

P/S : Tiba-tiba terasa macam nak ada anak. Lalalalala.. Nanti kita ada anak sama-sama okey sayang? Blueek! *MOOD NAK ANAK!*

LOVE,
[ Syana ]

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Emotions!

I don't know what I should feel now. If I can feel all the feelings in this world it would be now. Happy, Sad, Angry, Irritating, Enjoyed, Tired, FUCKED UP, Stress, Moody, Fun, I don't know what more to say. At a point, I just want to be happy with my last semester result. I did good. I mean, really really good. But then, there is no point of me trying to be and to act happy when I'm not. And here I am once again, sitting in my room thinking about my future.

All I know now is I'm going to STUDY REALLY REALLY HARD and try to get scholarship and do my degree oversea. I really don't care how much it will cost me, I'll do it for my own good. Now it's time for me to think about my previous loan. How the hell am I going to pay it before I start my degree??? Better start paying it off now. could it finish pay it in 2years? WTF! RM833.33 per month??! Where am I going to get the money? Part time job. Yeah, part time writer. Yes! I'll do it! Anything to pay off the loan. Haih!

Seriously, no more IPTA for degree. It's either I'll go to the best Uni in M'sia or i want to get scholar and do it oversea. IPTA for degree, I'll think about that few times. Not a good idea for me but if it is due to money problem then I'll sacrifies my dreams.

My focus now is just Study! Get 3.5above and go far from Malaysia. For my future. Let's us pray together.Amin.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Big Day

Everybody have a dream of their own wedding plan and they would want to fulfill their dreams. What makes me love about wedding the most is that the colors and faces of the bride and groom.

I look at my table and there's an article that my boy gave to me about wedding and here comes the idea of writing this post.


What kind of wedding do we want when we get married one day? "Wedding of the year" does not means that the relation would last till the end. It is certainly not a credit for the relation to last long and to be happy all the way. And to have a simple yet sweet wedding does not means that the relation as husband and wife will not last long. To me, wedding is a way for us to show our partner how we are willing to sacrifice for our love ones.


Let's imagine this, you have a very beautiful wife to be that you love so much and she hopes that she could invite her friends to her wedding. Somehow, due to the husband financial problem he could not afford to do so. The girl was so sad yet understands his future husband situation. Then, the guy thought that since this would be a one in a life time ceremony for his love one, he decided to work harder and invited all of his future wife friends. So, by the wedding day comes the bride was so happy that his husband actually fulfill her dreams even with a very simple wedding.


And, by that i could say that how a wedding is done either at a 5star hotel or even at home with just an "akad" but the sincerity of each person commitment towards it, it would make the ceremony a memorable and remarkable one. Somehow, i think that wedding is the most suitable moment for couples to think of when they decided to get separated one day.

So, no matter how the wedding is- JUST MAKE YOUR PARTNER HAPPY!


And, this is my dream wedding plan. I have two in mind actually, one is a garden theme and the other one is a beach wedding. How i really dream to have a wedding in a garden with the green grass and full of white lilies. To me it shows that wedding is something that is very pure and sincere. The wedding dress would be white of cause and the gents will wear light purple while ladies would wear light pink. And how i badly want to walk cross them with white lilies by the side. But then, with this Malaysian weather does it suitable for me to have it?


The second is to have a beach wedding. I really don't know why but i just love beach so much and i think it is romantic to have a wedding at the beach. As for me, I think that beach wedding is most suitable being held at night. With the dark sky full with stars and the wind blow smoothly; it is so romantic! Imagine, it's dark, it's cold, and the beach will be full of that small candles around the walking area. And there would be a large heart made by the small candles with our names in it. Ouh, how sweet if somebody could do that to us!


But then, that would cost a lot and i really don't want to burden my future husband. Glad if Nash would come and ask me to marry him and his would love to say,
"Aku terima nikahnya S**** S****** b**** A**** N******** dengan mas kahwin RM***.** tunai.."
*happy nye!*



P/S : boleh jadi wedding planner tak i? Thanks to the websites that i took the pictures.


Too bad....

Haha.. Okey, i am supposed to do this like i don't know how many weeks before but because i am busy with something, it's save as draft. lol! Sorry. Well, here goes.. I've been tag; now it's my turn to do so! Muahahahaha.. (okey, shud i say that out loud??)


Here it goes....

The last person to tag you is..

Syazwan. TQ dear!

Your 5 impressions toward him..

Best cousin

Somebody nice to talk to

Handsome. lol! (i puji u nieh.. Shud bangga ok.)

Senyap

Blur!

The most memorable thing he had done for you..

Apa eh? Maybe our memories when we were small. The one yang cucu-cucu atok gather tu. No parents. With blackout and the "Angan-angan to bina 'Cucu-cucu Atok' thing. Hahaha.."
Not to forget the picnic di tepi pantai. lol!

If he becomes your lover, you will..

Haha.. ofcoz i love you. you're my dear sweet cousin!

If he becomes your enemy, you will..

I'll make sure you come back and say sorry to me.. and belanja me makan

If he becomes my lover, he needs to improve on..

Haha.. no idea.

If he becomes your enemy, the reason is..

No reason to gado2.. We are family what.. ;)

How do you think people around you feel about you..

I'd say... sombong, ego, boring.. i don't know.

The character about yourself is..

Gila-gila

The most ideal person you want to be is..

I just want to be myself that everybody could accept.

For person who cares or likes you, say something for them..

Be the best among lovers who loves me. Accept me for who i am and love me because of ME not because of i'm somebody else. Coz, I am all yours..

10 people to tag..

1. Nashrul Iqram!
2. Eera
3. Fiq
4. Dhaus
5. Zumy
6. Acap
7. Nabil
8. Dayana
9. Erni
10. Azza

Who is number 2 having relationship with?

Haha.. with ....

Is number 3 a male or female?

Male

Is number 7 and 10 together would be a good thing?

Nabil and Azza? They dont even know each other.

How bout number 5 and 8?

Zumy N dayana? Sure they do. hahha... Best frens!

What is number 1 studying?

My MR PILOT! mine only. TQ.

When was the last time you chat with them?

1. Nashrul Iqram! ; last nite
2. Eera ; talk on weekends. chat-td bru chat..
3. Fiq ; few weeks back
4. Dhaus ; b4 cuti
5. Zumy ; yesterday
6. Acap ; b4 cuti
7. Nabil ; yesterday kot
8. Dayana ; yesterday
9. Erni ; few days back
10. Azza ; few days back

Is number 4 single..

Sure he is.. Long time d.. Sape nk?? hihi.. nk x u?

Talk something bout number 2..

Small gal.. emo! pandai kata i emo u pun emo gak. Hope for RB. We F**** a hell gal d. Hahaha.. Keras dlm lembut. Org pandai je phm makna nieh..


Okey, guess that all.. Too bad guys.. I'm done! You're next!


Monday, December 15, 2008

A hurt love quote

Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person
we love without wanting to.
Though that doesn’t mean that we've stopped
loving them or we've stopped to care.
Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you.

This morning I search for some hurt love quote which could make me feel better. would make me feel that I'll not be crying like the past. From one website to another website. From one page of Search Engine to another page.

Then, i saw this website. I was going to skip the website when my finger stars pointing at it and my heart force me to open the page. It's like some sort of magic and I open the page.

I knew I should have not; and now I'm sitting her all alone crying like a little baby for her lost. Of all quotes that I've read before why do this quote makes me cry.

It does bring some meanings to me, hurt and would hurt even more. Somehow I wish it would change but I know it is impossible. Goodbye is simply the best way to say I love you when you don't want to hurt a heart that you love the most anymore.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Mainan Perasaan Hati

Maaf kepada semua kerana menyepi agak lama. Bukan berkecil hati, bukan marah mahupun berduka. Tetapi terdapat beberapa perkara yang harus saya lakukan dan selesaikan sebelum dapat kembali ke sini.

Cinta, siapa antara kita yang tidak pernah merasa cinta. Siapa antara kita yang tidak ingin mencintai dan di cintai. Kuasa cinta itu sememangnya suatu kuasa yang tidak dapat kita tangani. Saya selalu berfikir, apa sebenarnya cinta. Apa keperluan cinta. Apa keinginan cinta. Sejauh mana kita harus berkorban demi cinta.

Cinta itu bukan lah “saya” atau “kamu” tetapi cinta itu ialah tentang “KITA”. Kita yang melaluinya. Kita yang saling merasa nikmatnya cinta. Kita yang melalui gelora dalam sesebuah perhubungan itu. Kita yang melalui detik suka. Kita juga yang melalui detik dan saat duka. Segalanya KITA lalui bersama.

Tetapi, kenapa cinta akan berubah begitu sahaja apabila wujud orang yang pernah hinggap di hati. Kewujudan orang ketiga dalam perhubungan mungkin antara punca pergolakan dalam sesebuah perhubungan. Tetapi adakah dia yang merupakan insan ketiga atau kita yang sebenarnya insan ketiga didalam perhubungan mereka.

Apa yang akan kita lakukan andai kita terperangkap di tengah-tengah antara perasaan tiga hati. Ini mungkin satu kisah cinta biasa bagi orang melayu tetapi apabila di fikirkan, kita tetap melayu dan kita tetap melaluinya walaupun ianya sesuatu perkara yang terlalu biasa.

Cinta oh cinta. Kenapa kita sering diperbodohkan cinta. Situasi di atas, andai kita terperangkap di antara mereka apa yang akan kita lakukan?

*maaf, saya tidak dapat menyambunglagi topik ini. Apa kata anda berikan pandangan anda. Andai anda terperangkap di antara tiga hati. Apa yang akan anda lakukan?*


LOVE,
[ Syana ]

Monday, December 1, 2008

Kawan, Teman, Rakan, & Sahabat.

“Kawan”, “Rakan”, “Teman” mahupun “Sahabat”; semua ini membawa satu maksud yang sama. Seorang insan yang akan bersama kita di kala susah dan juga senang. Tidak mengira darjat mahupun pangkat. Tidak mengenal erti kaya mahupun miskin.

Dimana taraf kita atau darjat kita di dalam sesebuah society apa yang pasti pabila bersahabat, ia kekal menjadi satu yang tiada bezanya. Lelaki mahupun perempuan; kawan tidak mengenal jantina. Teman juga tidak mengenal usia. Rakan pula tidak mengenal erti susah. Dan sahabat tidak mengenal erti cemburu mahupun iri hati.

Pernah atau tidak suatu ketika kita berhadapan dengan seseorang yang kita sangkakan mampu menjadi teman di kala susah dan senang tetapi rupanya dialah insan yang memakan kita dalam diam? Pernah atau tidak di satu ketika kita seakan-akan tidak dapat menerima hakikat akan kehebatan dan kepandaian yang lebih terhadap teman kita yang satu lagi?

Tidak kira lah insan ini kawan, teman, rakan atau sahabat; ia tetap membawa maksud yang sama. FRIENDS!

Kita selalu mendengar orang berkata “What friends are for” tetapi adakah kita benar-benar maksudkan kata-kata itu atau tidak?? Pernah atau tidak kita duduk sendirian di dalam bilik dan berfikir, siapa kawan, rakan, teman mahupun sahabat yang sentiasa berada di belakang kita?

Di dalam satu speech yang pernah teman sekelas saya berikan di dalam kelas “Public Speaking” semasa berada di semester 2, tentang sahabat. Satu persoalan yang sehingga sekarang saya masih tidak dapat jawapannya.

“Jika anda (Batu) mempunyai seorang sahabat yang paling rapat dengan anda; Api. Api lah teman anda yang sentiasa anda kongsi kan perasaan, masalah, tekanan, rahsia peribadi anda dan suatu hari entah di mana silap anda Api mula menjauhkan diri dari anda sedikit demi sedikit. Bagi anda mungkin Api Cuma inginkan ‘waktu bersendirian’; namun lama kelamaan makin kerap cerita yang anda dengar. Bukan setakat hubungan anda dengan Api yang semakin renggang tetapi rahsia anda, masalah anda; segalanya di sebarkan oleh Api.”

Persoalan di sini, adakah Api layak untuk di gelar rakan, teman, sahabat mahupun kawan seperti yang kita sering sanjung itu?

Agak menyedihkan kerana ada yang tidak memahami soalan saya pada hari itu. Ada yang menyatakan bahawa Batu itu ibarat sampah kerana di buang. Logik kah jawapan itu dengan soalan yang di tanya. Saya tidak tahu.

Walauapapun, sebagai seorang yang sayangkan rakan, teman, kawan dan sahabatnya; saya sedikit pun tidak merasa tersinggung. Kerana walaupun jawapan itu di tuju kepada saya, tetapi sedikit pun ia tidak menggentarkan hidup saya. Apa yang menarik, selepas itu perkara ini menjadi KECOH sebentar bagi budak-budak ini kerana ramai yang bertanya adakah saya cuba menghentam sesiapa.

Jawapan saya Cuma satu. It’s a general question that could happened to anybody in this world. If you think you’re not guilty, why are you afraid to answer the question. In life, it happens all the time and everywhere we go. No big deal.

Ia, perkara ini berlaku di mana-mana tanpa mengira waktu, tempat mahupun orang. Apa yang pasti, tetapkan hati. Satu hari dia akan sedar betapa pentingnya kita dalam hidup dia. Yang beza; cepat atau lambat.

Dear friends, no matter what happened between us you will remain my friend as long as I am still here in this world. I’ll help as long as my hand, legs and brain can work. Haha. Friends who make mistakes, no heart feelings. I wish i could gather back with you and had all the fun that we used to have in the old days, but hey. Things are not the same anymore Syana. Things had change.

P/S: Post ini tidak bermaksud untuk menghentam sesiapa sama ada yang hidup mahupun yang telah meninggal dunia.